The next morning was Wednesday. I woke up, and the spirit told me that Steve was going to die on Friday. Wait, is that even biblical for the Lord to tell me when? Could it be my intuition based on what I saw in my husband yesterday? I do not know, but I could not shake the thought; or the clarity with which it came.
I went to the hospital, and asked what more had to be done for my husband. There would be a procedure in the am, and the procedure in the evening; then he could go home tomorrow.
I went to the hospital director’s office, and told her that I wanted both procedures done this am, because I was taking my husband home this afternoon. I did not cry. I was beyond that. Acceptance had set in, I told her that I knew that he was dying, and I wanted him to die at home.
Amazingly; the evening procedure was bumped up. Afterwards, I sat with him until he was ready to go. I went and got my car; he was loaded into my car at 2:00 pm. He was able to talk, he was so excited to go home. He wanted to see our farm home and the property. I had a work party of about 30 people come to mow, trim, sweep and wash everything up on Saturday. I had a couple of guys build that green house kit that I bought for Steve at Christmas time. The place was ready for dad to come home. I suppose that I should have written a post about that day, but I was not thinking. Oh well, we will talk about it another time.
To be honest, on the way home I prayed that God would have us get into a car wreck that would kill us both. I just knew that he was going to die on Friday, and selfishly; I was scared of what Saturday would bring. I knew that I was not going to be the same Donna for a long time.
So I decided then and there to enjoy every single second that I had with him. I got him home, and put him in a wheel chair. I wheeled him around the place. He was so excited to see that someone had finished his drip line to the roses. Everything looked so pretty. I was so glad to see him smile. His green house was built, and looked beautiful on the base that he made for it.
I took him in the house, and put him on the couch. He was exhausted and was out of it pretty quickly.
I then called, emailed, and messaged friends. I told them that if they wanted to see Steve that they needed to do it tonight or tomorrow.
I called the church down the street, and asked about funeral arrangements within the next week.
I also called my closest friends and family- I told them that because I had never been through this, I did not know what to expect. I was thinking very clear when I said “I am going to be need you like I have never needed you; please be there for me”
And then I went, and sat on the floor next to the couch.