You all know that Steve and I bought this home on acreage to begin raising food for ourselves, and the families of our seven grown kids.
With chickens, ducks, goats, sheep, pigs, fruit trees, grapes, berry patches, berry bushes and year round veggie gardens; we were well on our way.
He did the landscaping and man type maintenance. I did the livestock and garden stuff. We were very happy with life, our home and each other.
On the evening of March 17th, 2017; we went out with friends and had a great time. But the next morning at 4:00 am I woke to find him dressed, and ready to go to the emergency room. He said that he was having pain in the right upper abdomen. We were having a party that afternoon, and he told me to stay home, and get the house ready for the party. I thought that his pain was a gall bladder issue-so I was not overly concerned about him going by himself.
When he got home he was quiet, and told me that he was fine. But the look on his face made me begin my work of prying it out of him.
He finally went to the truck, and unlocked a box that had the test results in it. He had not intended to show me the reports. He told me that if he allowed me to read the report, that I must swear to him that I would not share the information with anyone-especially his kids. He did not want the word to leak out to his kids, so no-one must know.
Because I am an RN, I knew to skip the blood test results, and the ultrasound report. I went straight for the CT Scan report. As I read the report, I kept a poker face and prayed that my voice did not shake when I asked him if he knew what the report said.
I did not tell him what I understood, but I did not have too. He said that the emergency room doctor already did.
The report that I read described a pancreatic mass, and at least 30 lesions in the liver. I understood this to be stage 4 pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to the liver.
That is when my positive thinking gave way to a fear like I had never known. I knew that this was going to go fast. I just had no idea how fast…