You’re amazing! This is a phrase that I have learned to use on a daily basis.
When my kids were little, I would say “Do you know how much I love you?” or “You are so smart!” and of course; “I am so proud of you!” It got to be such a habit that my kids today will tell you that they always felt loved and that they were smart enough to do anything. They also got hugged, kissed on the forehead, and back rubs. My son loved laying his head in my lap while we watched TV to get me to run my fingers through his hair.
Fast Forward- married Steve. Of course I tell him that I love him more than once a day, but I also say “You are so smart” when he helps me figure something out. I tell him very often “I am so glad that I married you”. But his favorite is “You’re amazing!”
I stumbled upon a secret about my husband that even he did not know about himself. His love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. He has spent his previous marriages and child rearing years learning the love languages of others. In his family most of the players love languages were gifts and acts of service. So he has learned to be incredibly generous with his money, his gifts and his acts of service. Those same family members are generous with their gift giving and acts of service, because they speak their own love languages.
The sad thing was that because his love language is physical touch and words of affirmation, he was not getting his love tank filled.
Then along came Donna who’s love languages were the same as his. In the beginning, when I told him that he was amazing, he just thought that I wanted him to buy me something. When I held hands, cuddled, or gave a shoulder rub-he thought that it was kind of weird; but he really liked it.
It was not long before he started saying that I treated him better than anyone has ever treated him, and that he felt like a king when he was with me.
My secret? It really isn’t a secret, it actually happened by accident. I was just speaking my own love language. My kids, my extended family and friends will tell you that I say words that build others up and touch- a lot.
So here is what I have learned and now share with you. Challenge yourself to discover the love language of your loved ones and practice the new lingo. See what changes happen in your relationships.
What are the languages? Gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch.
By the way, now when I tell Steve that he is amazing, he says “Yes I am, because of you”. Those words are music to my heart.