A common theme that I like to talk about is passion. We all have it. It drives us. It makes us do what we do. Fall in love, enroll in higher education, plan a future or just participate in a hobby.
I have been pretty open about my passions. Loving my family, sharing with my friends, even posting about my life for the world to read. Most recently, I have been sharing about my dream to someday have a larger place to take my gardens and animals to.
I only post the positive stuff, because that is what I concentrate on. Besides, I do not think that anyone would be entertained by any whining that I might want to do. So I keep my blog positive and both of my Facebook pages full of cute fluffy things, encouraging messages and joyful images.
Most recently a reader messaged me and suggested that because I had led a “struggle free life” and was happy in my marriage; that I was able to attain a level of joy that she could not, because of the struggles that she has had to endure. The rest of this is for her (and anyone else who may want to read it).
Dear friend, my joy does not come from my husband or my circumstance. I know you say “This is where she starts to preach”. Though I am a “Christian” I am not going to do that to you. What you believe is your own business. I just made a decision to be happy, because it felt better.
I was the oldest of 5 in a very poor family. My parents lost the 10 acres that we grew up on in Lake Elsinore California; and could not afford to help us with higher education. There were even times that we shared our school clothes. But I was selfish. I made the decision to be happy anyway, because it felt better. Crazy, I know!
I married young and had two beautiful children. (Who are now my best friends) Though I have always dreamed of having a small farm of my own, it never happened. So I continued to believe in a dream. Believing, somehow just felt better than loosing hope, and I chose to feel better. I guess that I am just selfish like that.
I believed in love, but went through two divorces. I raised my two kids myself, in a house that I bought. I had a job and worked hard to raise my kids. I also worked hard at finding and holding on to joy. One of the secrets that I discovered was that when I did something to help others, it made me feel good. So I learned about sharing whatever my abundance was. We all have an abundance of something, even if it is just a listening ear or a hug.
Steve said that when he met me; he felt sorry for me. I could not understand that. I told him that he was the one who needed rescued; not me. He says that he fell in love with me because of the joy that I seemed to find in everything. I had lots of practice by then, because of that one decision that I had made long ago.
I have never allowed my happiness and joy to depend on who my husband is (or the lack of one), or the amount of money that I have (or do not have). I always thought that the farm was just a make believe place that may never come. Again, my happiness is a choice that I have made, because I like to feel good, and I am selfish like that.
So, if you do not find that you are happy, there is some work for you to do. You could be rich, with a wonderful man; and still be an unhappy person. Find a way to help or encourage someone else, I guarantee that will make you feel better.
In the end…
The dream of this farm has been a very long time in coming. My patience is finally being rewarded. I have a man who truly loves me, I will be a nurse very soon, I will have a hobby farm and I finally have a (some)grandbaby (ies) coming.
May you make the decision to be happy as well.